break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
