My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
two words...techno handjob
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize