3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize