I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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