How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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