i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
