also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
