im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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