Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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