so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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