I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize