Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
tell your sister to shave her snatch
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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