How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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