How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
