By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
