I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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