so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
