Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
