if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
