How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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