There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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