Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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