I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
