Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
