I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
