Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
