Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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