Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
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Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize