The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
