My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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