It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
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You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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