I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
