Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
