I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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