i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
