My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
