Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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