we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
