no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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