Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
