he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize