you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
