party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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