dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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