carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
then he tried to convert me to islam
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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