There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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