five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
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You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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