I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
