wakey wakey hands off snakey
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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