I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize