Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
