Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
