Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
