All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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