her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
