This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
