Whod you bang
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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