Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize