my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
