You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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