So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
