You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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