Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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