wakey wakey hands off snakey
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
