Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
