hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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