My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
