Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
