i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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