I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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